My parents or myself?

Published on August 7 2013

For quite a while, I have been wanting to cross tothe other side of myself and see what I could not / was not/ hasnot been ready to see. I tried again and again to take the first step, but something has been impeding this move of mine. So, I decided to give up this endeavous (the endeavour to look at myself from an angle way different from the one I ahve always been using) and convinced myslef that, actually, there would be nothing intersting for me on that other side and that I ahve a lot to gain staying on this side. It's safer. You knwo going to the oter ide can lead to insanity. And tell don't they say that clarity about things comes from inside not from outside. isn't it the case that most (if not all) thinkers (whatever their school affilaitions might be) seem to agree that nothing good comes from the outside.

 

Because I am looking only for good things (changes?) in me, I am going to indulge into some introspection and I will start by defining myself. I am the son of a pair of wonderful people who before they have left this life endowed me with what I call their best : loving the other, the peope around you. Always wanting the best for them. They have also taught me to be as transparent as a glass can be; they taught to hide nothing from the others / the people around me. I am just like an open book, anyone can read me. It's part of me, I just can't hide anything from the others. So many people have charged me with the oppiste, but, you know, they can say what they want. I know myself better than they do.

My parents ahve taught me to believe in myself and take no heed of what the others would say about me. They just told me that one of the things I should cling to is that I should alwys forgive. You knwo, that's something not available to everyone. To forgive comes pack and parcel with to love. If you can't love, you can't forgive (not even yourself.). I guess that forgiving is that characteristics which enables you to accept; what you would also call to tolerate. Many people talk about toleration overlooking the fact that , again, this can only be nurtured in a love relationship.

Honesty is another one of my parents'teachings. they did not teach me that in the sense of talking about it to me.No, they lived it in front of me. All people around celebrated this property in my parents. They never did anything which was opposite to this characteristic. They were so honest that at times I has the impression people were thinking of them as 'simple d'esprit'. Yes, they were not doing things the way that people nowadays do or seem to believe to be the right way to act: seize the opportunity to bettter yourself (in all senses possible). I still remember that one day, I was talking to my father about this and he gave this simple reason for his being that way. He claimed that he was quite sure that wherever he would walk, he was quite sure that nobody would point a finger to him and say that this person stole me  / marmed me/ or any other kind of mischief . Given the kind of job he held and the way they ended up their life, I can but be proud of being their outcome. 

Would people allow me / accept from me to say that I am my parentsand not the child I was. You know the opposite of what Freud ahs been claiming. How can the child I was be me at a time it was in the making? No, it's definite, I am what my parents were and I am proud of that. Being proud should not be seen as a negative stand. You know there are things you can be proud of and be respected for that and there are others that would loose the respect of the others. You know, like when you are proud of yourself , just like a peacock. That's one kind of a person I would hate to be. It's just not what my parents taught me. I was brought to show a high degree of modesty and humility. i am not the person who would show off. My parents would not recognize inme the child they nurtured for so long. I miss them. They probably do too, don't you think so?

Written by taoufikafkinich

Published on #Short story

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